Affirmations won’t work if you keep letting yourself down

I used to have a phone full of affirmations and a head full of doubt.

Every morning: “I am disciplined. I am capable. I am someone who follows through.”

Every evening: Evidence to the contrary.

The workout I skipped. The meal prep I didn’t do. The commitment I made to myself on Sunday that I’d abandoned by Wednesday. Again.

I love affirmations. I’ve got a file on my phone with dozens of them. There’s usually one on my phone background. I track them daily and open my Abraham Hicks emails without fail.

But for the longest time, nothing really shifted in the areas that mattered most to me.

Here’s what I finally figured out: You can’t talk yourself into believing something your actions keep disproving.

When you constantly say “I’m doing this” but don’t follow through, your brain stops listening. It doesn’t matter how perfect the words are or how vivid the vision in your head is. Your subconscious is keeping score, and the tally isn’t in your favour.

Confidence doesn’t come from what you say about yourself. It comes from what you do when no one’s watching – especially when you really don’t feel like it.

The shift for me came when I stopped trying to convince myself I was disciplined and started actually being disciplined. Small scale. Manageable scale. But consistent scale.

I didn’t overhaul my entire life again.

I didn’t commit to some punishing exercise regime I’d inevitably quit.

I didn’t start another cleanse that would leave me eating spoonfuls of Biscoff straight from the jar by day four.

I just started making promises I could actually keep.

Even when life got messy.

Even when I was tired.

Even when I didn’t want to.

Prepping some food on Sunday so I could eat something nourishing on my most chaotic Tuesday, instead of surviving on whatever I could grab.

Showing up for my strength training sessions, even if that meant a 20-minute workout squeezed in before dinner instead of the hour I’d planned.

I picked one or two areas – that’s it. Just enough to start rebuilding trust with myself. Just enough to prove I was someone who follows through, even when it’s inconvenient.

I’ve been consistent with my strength training for almost three years now. I’d been lifting on and off for two decades before that, but this level of consistency? That’s new.

It’s not because I’m more motivated than I used to be, but because I’ve proven to myself that I’m someone who shows up. It’s not even a decision anymore – it’s just who I am.

Anyone can follow through when they’re motivated. It’s who you are when it’s hard that builds your identity.

So if you’re tired of feeling stuck despite all the mantras and vision boards, it’s time to stop saying you believe in yourself and start proving it.

One small, keepable promise at a time.

This is the shift I help my clients make – from endless self-talk to quiet self-trust, from good intentions to actual follow-through.